A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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