Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize