You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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