Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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