just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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