i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
