I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Never underestimate the power of titties
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
