butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
