I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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