So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
