I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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