he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
