Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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