She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
