we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I intend to get homeless drunk
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
