I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
