I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
