You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This is my gift to your gina
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
