dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
