Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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