My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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