They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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