At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
