please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
