Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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