Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
