i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
