I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
