Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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