Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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