the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
