He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize