What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
