I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
A bitchslap is in order.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
