Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
