I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
