let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
