someone threw a dead crab at me
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
