Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My breasts were aching with rage.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
