Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
