"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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