after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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