I skipped work to stalk him.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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