I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
