Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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