I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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