You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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