I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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