dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
