I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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