So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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