I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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