i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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