as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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