Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
