you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
