I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she peed on how many people?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
