it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
