Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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